So there were these two tortoises...

• BBC News quote of the day From jonathanbell in So there were these two tortoises... (927 days old)

  Love it… more

• Welcome back From jonathanbell in So there were these two tortoises... (957 days old)

  It's been a very long time since I blogged. So here is a picture of the world's tallest man, Bao Xishun, and his new wife. She's only 25 years younger than him, and significantly shorter too... … more

• The Facebook Firefox Toolbar From jonathanbell in So there were these two tortoises... (1004 days old)

  Last night I stumbled upon something that has taken all of my willpower not to install. It's The Facebook Firefox Toolbar It gives you a toolbar in firefox which allows you to do all those importa… more

• Who said footballers were thick? From jonathanbell in So there were these two tortoises... (1012 days old)

  These are very old, but I just found them on my computer and they made me chuckle. And I haven't posted in a while. 'My parents have been there for me, ever since I was about 7.' - David Beckham … more

• Marks and educated From jonathanbell in So there were these two tortoises... (1025 days old)

  I've noticed something. Where most supermarkets have a '10 items or less' aisle (which is bad use of the English language, obviously :D), Marks and Spencer have a '10 items or fewer'. Isn't that mar… more

• "Anyone Can Write A Graham Kendrick Song" From jonathanbell in So there were these two tortoises... (1034 days old)

  (To the tune of "Jesus Put This Song Into Our Hearts") Anyone can write a Graham Kendrick song, Anyone can write a Graham Kendrick song, You just make the words up as you go along, Anyone can wr… more

• A long, geeky, musical joke From jonathanbell in So there were these two tortoises... (1038 days old)

  C, E-flat, and G go into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, but we don't serve minors." So, the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth … more

• Ricky Gervais on the Bible From jonathanbell in So there were these two tortoises... (1054 days old)

  I couldn't decided whether to post this or not... so here it is! It's Ricky Gervais doing stand up, and he gets onto talking about Genesis. It's obviously done as comedy, and it's a bit rude in plac… more

• The meaning of Christmas From jonathanbell in So there were these two tortoises... (1055 days old)

  According to the BBC, fewer than half of 7 to 11 year olds think or know that Christmas is about the birth of Jesus. Isn't that outrageous? But more importantly, isn't it sad? I just can't imagine … more

• And again From jonathanbell in So there were these two tortoises... (1057 days old)

  Oh dear, it's been nine days and I still have nothing to say. So don't sit here reading my blog - go and play a game!… more

• And again From jonathanbell in So there were these two tortoises... (1057 days old)

  Oh dear, it's been nine days and I still have nothing to say. So don't sit here reading my blog - go and play a game!… more

• Doesn't time fly? From jonathanbell in So there were these two tortoises... (1066 days old)

  I keep thinking of things to blog about, and then promptly forgetting. So here are one or two thoughts that I haven't forgotten about right now. 1. Flickr is very annoying. I knew that you could … more

• Well, everyone else has done it... From jonathanbell in So there were these two tortoises... (1070 days old)

  Four jobs you've had in your life 1. Church apprentice 2. Sales Consultant - Dawkes Music 3. Occasionally getting paid for singing or bassooning 4. I don't think there is a fourth. Oh, except I… more

• The first Noelle From jonathanbell in So there were these two tortoises... (1094 days old)

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• Marvellous From jonathanbell in So there were these two tortoises... (1105 days old)

  I've just been cheered up by remembering one of my favourite bad jokes. (It's not as good as the tortoise joke, but that just doesn't work very well through the medium of the internet.) I think Simo… more

• One liners From jonathanbell in So there were these two tortoises... (1117 days old)

  I was doing some decorating, so I got out my step-ladder. I don't get on with my real ladder. I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renais… more

• Yo From jonathanbell in So there were these two tortoises... (1122 days old)

  I officially got chucked out of NYC the other day for being too old. This is a shame. My other post that day was a letter saying the people at Barclaycard are going to send my a shiny gold one. Som… more

• Your car From jonathanbell in So there were these two tortoises... (1126 days old)

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• Engrish From jonathanbell in So there were these two tortoises... (1130 days old)

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• 8 treadmills From jonathanbell in So there were these two tortoises... (1130 days old)

  What would you do with 8 treadmills? … more

• The demise of Sainsburys Basics chocolate From jonathanbell in So there were these two tortoises... (1131 days old)

  Ask Garth, Frazer, or Chris and they will verify that in our house last year we consumed a highly commendable quantity of Sainsburys Basics milk chocolate. Indeed, the rare occasion that Sainsburys w… more

• Boris From jonathanbell in So there were these two tortoises... (1133 days old)

  I appear to be going through a phase of not being bothered to blog. Maybe I will get into the habit again soon. However, I can't help bringing your attention to the fact that Boris slams Jamie's f… more

• I must blog more often From jonathanbell in So there were these two tortoises... (1141 days old)

  This week, I have been mostly listening to Giles Swayne.… more

• Back from the dark ages From jonathanbell in So there were these two tortoises... (1151 days old)

  I've finally got me some broadband in the house, although we need to sort out a network before I can properly get back into wasting all my time on facebook etc. But this is good news. It's good to b… more

• Washing up bowls From jonathanbell in So there were these two tortoises... (1159 days old)

  Can somebody please explain to me the concept of a washing up bowl? I just don't get it. Why is there a problem with just putting the plug in the sink? That is all I have to say.… more

• Derby From jonathanbell in So there were these two tortoises... (1161 days old)

  Well, boys and girls, I have arrived in Derby, and am officially a working chappie. It looks like I'm going to get pretty busy pretty quickly, which is good because I'm suddenly getting rid of the po… more

• Update From jonathanbell in So there were these two tortoises... (1164 days old)

  I have not blogged for a very long time. For this I apologise. It turned out that I didn't get very much time on the internet at all while I was away. I'm certainly not going to provide a blow-… more

• Berlin From jonathanbell in So there were these two tortoises... (1187 days old)

  I'm in a little bit of a hurry cos we're leaving Berlin in a min, but I thought I would say hello to the world. This keyboard is annoying - the z and y kezs are the wrong way round, and I can't find … more

• I'm off... From jonathanbell in So there were these two tortoises... (1194 days old)

  I'm going on a tour with the National Youth Choir starting today, and I'm a little bit excited... We're actually only going to Dorset today, but then Germany on Monday, then the Czech Republic, Slova… more

• Little Anna Cresswell got married From jonathanbell in So there were these two tortoises... (1197 days old)

  This Saturday was the final event of a whole wedding of summers (well, it was for me anyway. I'm sure some people out there are still to be married.) Anna and Jonathan got married in Cardiff, and … more

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